Just when I thought American couldn’t get any fuckin weirder and more hypocritical here and frankly, just when I thought reality TV couldn’t get any fucking rediculous (Fox locking people in a bunker? A game show with no questions to answer or no skillds neede except the ability to guess random suitcases?). No, this time, TV has trumped even the most absurd concept I can possibly think of for a reality show (A reality show about the people who have to day in and day out look at Sarah Jessica Parker and the small country/mole on her lower chin.)  There’s a new reality show following Osama bin Laden’s daughter.
Anyone who hasn’t realized there’s a real pro-Muslim agenda by the media and the politicians in this country…well here’s some more heavy handed “they’re not all terrorists” stuff. Now, I understand why President Bush has to say that terrorists have hijakced a noble religion and all (he’s pandering), but its starting to seem like politicians and the media are protesting just a little too much. Heck, they’re louder at proclaiming that the Muslim religion isn’t about terrorism than the so-called moderate Muslims are.

Regardless, I just observe, and I’m here to Jizz, not to squabble. And in the spirit of jizzing I bring you the infidel daughter of celebrity Muslim father and uber-terrorist Osama bin Laden. You know him as the worst man since probably Hitler. A man with a front-row seat in hell reserved for him sometime relatively soon. (Unless he has a seat reserved in heaven with 42 ripe young virigins. Somehow I really doubt it, I mean I can see where heaven, hell, and God are hard concepts for some people to swallow, but come on…42 virgins? Even 1 virgin is damn hard to swallow. Especially as a reward for killing people. All the virgins I know… Well, I don’t know any virgins, but I can bet they’d be scared of a spider let alone a mass murderer…)

Osama bin laden must be steaming in his cave, because his daughter is not only completely western (doesn’t cover hear hair, sleeps with guys on the first date, shows her boobs, has tried anal) , but she’s totally into the shallowest facet of western culture: HOLLYWOOD. Could she be the next Paris or Nicole? Could that be the best weapon against terrorism? Think about it. One second Osama bin Laden is ordering his band of crazies to blow up a bunch of innocent yuppies like me and the next second they see his daughter on the Simple Life 5 (Which they force themselves to watch while plotting to make themselves hate America even more. The irony being that they’re probably dreaming of a heaven in which they get to nail 42 Paris Hilton’s. Or, maybe not, she’s not a virgin, but definitely 42 white women.) Suddenly they realize that in Simple Life 5 anorexic superstar Nicole Richie has died and has been replaced by none other than Osama bin Laden’s daughter who has absolutely no use for a name other than Osama bin Laden’s daughter because, I mean, come on. But anyway, they see her on there and bam its over.

Habib would be like, “Osama isn’t that trashy socialite your daughter? That’s what your child support payments are funding? We’re living in a cave and she’s living in Beverly Hills? What the fuck man? You couldn’t even raise a proper Muslim? Bitch talks all the time? Look at that hair! Damn man, you said we had to wait till heaven to get bitches like that. I bet she has a bikini wax.”

Rakkim would chime in, “Yeah. How come we don’t put our energy into bringing bikini waxing to the Middle East rather than trying to kill all these people?”

And that would be it. The cause would be completely undermined. As for me I can only wait for what reality TV has in store for us next, but somehow I think the Osama bin Laden’s daughter reality show will be one for the ages.

Song of the Week: Son of Dork - Ticket out of Loserville

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 11th, 2006 at 11:52 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.